By Katie PennyTimes Columnist
The provided information is fact-sensitive and jurisdiction-dependent. Consult an attorney before employing the below legal concepts.
What are the rights of step parents to step children? The answer to this is, perhaps unfortunately, not many. At no point short of legal adoption of a step child, which itself requires the relinquishment of parental rights by the other natural parent (i.e., the other biological parent—there are 2 biological parents to every child, called the natural parents, and they are entitled to authority over their child) is a step parent considered a legal parent of a step child.
The natural biological parents, unless deemed unfit, retain all legal rights to control of their minor children. Consequently, step parents have very little authority over their step children (at least legally) simply by virtue of marrying a natural parent.
A general understanding of how custody and visitation of children is handled in this state can help explain why the rights of non-biological parents are so limited. There are 3 basic custody arrangements into which natural parents who are either divorced or unmarried may enter to control the time each parent will spend with the child and the authority each will have over the child.
The 3 arrangements are subject to virtually unlimited variation, however, depending on the specific schedules and needs of the children and parents involved. Sole Custody is when primary legal custody and control is given to only one parent and specific visitation times are given to the other parent. Shared Custody is a relatively rare plan where the parents have dual primary custody and authority and almost equal time with the child. Joint Custody is a plan where one parent is designated the “domiciliary parent,” with whom the child primarily lives, and the other parent, known as the non-domiciliary parent, is granted specific times to exercise his or her custody.
In joint custody, the most prevalent custody arrangement, the parents have almost equal rights to contribute to decisions about the child. However, when the natural parents cannot agree, the decision of the domiciliary parent will prevail. In sole custody, the parent who has sole custody is entitled to make all important decisions in the upbringing of the child (for example, in what religion the child will be raised, what school the child will attend, medical decisions about the child, etc.) In all events, the court is concerned only with what arrangement would be in the best interest of the child.
In any of these arrangements, the step parent is never given authority over the child, other than perhaps influence or conversation with the natural parent spouse. The step parent is not granted any decision-making rights to the child.
This seems bleak, especially to the many excellent step parents who care deeply about their step children’s welfares. As long as both natural parents can agree, the parents can come to any agreement that will work best for the two families. Therefore, if the parents can agree to it, the step parents can have as much time or contact with the child as they want (even visitation with the step parent when the natural parent is absent—if the parents can agree to that.)
Ex-spouses are perhaps understandably uncomfortable with the idea of a new step parent and often jealous of the influence of this new “replacement” parent. This often leads to the natural parent trying to keep the child away from the step parent. However, unless the natural parent can show that the other natural parent’s new spouse is somehow harmful to the child, the natural parent cannot force their ex-spouse to keep the child from the step-parent. The new step parent, by virtue of the marriage to the natural parent, is a part of the child’s life now, and the other natural parent, even if they are unhappy with the ex-spouse’s remarriage, cannot restrict the relationship with the new step parent.
Certainly, a step parent may be authorized by a natural parent to pick up the child from day care or school; no one can be there absolutely every day to pick a child up and the law would certainly permit a natural parent to have such help. However, the authority to make major decisions for the child rests with the natural parent, not with the step parent. The opinion of the step parent as to the decisions made for the child by the natural parents is fairly irrelevant, again except insofar as informal influence on their natural parent spouse.
Let me reiterate: the law does not bar associations or relationships with the step child by the step parent (except, of course, if the relationship is found to be harmful to the welfare of the child.) We would love for every child of divorce to have not just 2, but 4 loving, caring parents who have only their best interest in mind. The step parent can act as a parent as much as they are able as far as loving, providing for, and caring for the child.
Nevertheless, the authority to authorize medical procedures and courses of treatment for the child rests with the natural parents. The capacity to represent the minor in legal proceedings rests in the natural parents. The right to request (or demand, but let’s pretend everyone is nice enough to simply request) time with the child generally rests with the natural parents, and not with the step parents.
However, in some extraordinary circumstances (as when the natural parent has died or is incarcerated), a former step parent or step grandparent may be granted some visitation rights. That is, if the court finds that it is in the best interest of the child and considering many different factors of the individual case. The law does provide for some grandparent or sibling visitation in very limited extraordinary circumstances as well.
When both natural parents are present, capable, and not incarcerated, however, the rights of step parents to direct the child and spend time with the child are rather limited to what the natural parents can agree to. The harmony of the situation is always improved for everyone, especially the child, when all of the parties can amicably agree and can allow as many parents to care for the child as would like to.
